The Witcher 3’s main narrative includes heartbreak, action, and plenty of political intrigue. Yet, ‘No Place Like Home’ involves none of those things and is still one of the game’s best quests. Instead, it’s all about a group of old friends sharing a drink together.
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The mission triggers around the time Geralt, Yennefer, and the rest of the inhabitants of Kaer Morhen are attempting to free Uma from a curse. They have everything in place to do so, and they plan on lifting the spell the very next day. Before going to bed, though, the Witchers decide to have a drink. If you want some help getting through the night of merriment, here’s everything you need to know.
The quest begins with a squabble between Yennefer and Vesemir as the latter is unsure of the former’s method to help Uma. The wise Witcher wants to try another way and goes off to do so. You just have to watch all of this happen, as you can’t impact this section of the quest. Afterward, Eskel and Lambert decide to spend the evening getting drunk.
Private Conversation With Yennefer (Dependent)
If you previously confessed your love to Yennefer in ‘The Last Wish’, then she takes you aside to have a private conversation before the merriment begins. During which, she asks you to go upstairs with her and make love.
You can either accept (“Sounds Great”) or decline (“Don’t Get Mad, But…”) her proposal. The choice doesn’t severely impact the rest of the quest or your relationship with Yennefer. If you accept, though, you get an additional intimate scene with the Sorceress.
Having A Drink With Your Allies
When you return to Eskel and Lambert, the drinking begins. And you get the chance to find out what your Witcher allies have been up to recently, as well as tell them your own tale.
Eventually, things get heated between Yen and Lambert. You can tell the Witcher to mind his manners, but it doesn’t alter the scene too much. After the argument, Yen goes to bed and tells you not to stay up too late.
Not too long after the Sorceress is gone, you get to decide how to proceed with the night. These are your options and what happens if you select them:
“So – This Samovila?” – You get Eskel to finish talking about his quest.
“Let’s Have Some Fun.” – The three Witchers play ‘I Never…’
“How About A Round Of Cards?” – You play a game of Gwent.
“Time To Go To Sleep” – Geralt goes to bed, and the quest comes to an end.
You can experience all the first three if you please. However, to do so, you need to opt for the game of Gwent before choosing the first two.
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After you’ve heard the end of the Samovila story and played ‘I Never…’, Eskel goes missing. While very drunk, you need to locate your friend. Use Witcher Senses to find some footprints beside a bit of spilled wine. Follow this trail all the way outside.
Once you exit the keep, use your Witcher Senses again to hear some noises coming from the left. Go over to investigate and find Eskel laid on the ground, next to a goat. A cutscene will play in which he gets up, and Lambert drunkenly suggests inviting some women to come over.
You can agree with his idea (“You’re a genius!”) or reject it (“Think you’ve had your last drink”). If you select the latter, the quest comes to a close.
Trying To Use The Megascope
If you choose to go along with Lambert’s idea, the three drunk Witchers will go to the Megascope in an attempt to call some Sorceresses. However, Eskel claims that you will scare them off because you don’t look the part. Lambert attempts to remedy the situation by suggesting that you all wear Yennefer’s clothes – he’s certainly not one of the smartest characters in the series while drinking.
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Once again, you get the option to go with Lambert’s plan (“We’re squeezing into those dresses”), or you can reject it (“Don’t like the idea, either”). The decision doesn’t change much, but if you agree to dress up, you need to take Yennefer’s dress from a nearby chest and equip it while removing your other clothing.
Regardless of what you’re wearing, Yennefer soon comes in and demands you go to bed. At this point, the hilarious quest is over.
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